All of the orgasms in fic are so violent. His orgasm came like a punch to the gut. It hit him like a mack truck. It knifed him in a fucking alley. What these orgasms need is a good education.
the orgasm tapped him on the shoulder politely because it wasn’t raised in a goddamn barn
By the time he came back to himself, the orgasm had washed the dishes, vacuumed the living room, and retrieved his lost house key from under the chaise lounge.
— Emiya Kiritsugu, because his chain smoking is the last thing that’s killing him
Fate/Zero (via incorrectfatequotes)
Anonymous said: omg if baby oil dissolves condoms what the fuck does it do to babies???
This may be shocking, but babies and condoms are made of different material
- Caster: Hey
- Caster: I just met you
- Caster: And this is crazy
- Caster: But you look an awful lot like the girl under whose banners I fought and therefore you are definitely her despite all of your adamant protests you must be having some kind of serious mental shortage but that's okay Jeanne I have a cunning plan I will kill lots and lots of people until you come to your senses and remember me!
- Caster: So call me, maybe.